Elimination Interview: Ryan
Date: Tuesday, 21 February 2012
The biggest Loser contestant ever talks trying to break down self-imposed barriers and feeling betrayed by his team.
Being the largest contestant in Biggest Loser history is a distinction that weighs heavy on the mind. Certainly when it came to his progress during four weeks at Camp, Ryan’s inability to overcome mental roadblocks was primarily to blame for his body’s steadfast refusal to co-operate.
“To be perfectly honest, I probably only picked up about two proper injuries. The rest was my body not being used to pain,” Ryan candidly admits. “The brain just goes, ‘No, stop.’ It’s frustrating to know that if I’d kept going the pain probably would’ve gone away. That’s one thing I wish I could go back and change – have pushed harder and pushed through it.”
As well as holding him back in training, Ryan blames his psychological barriers for the growing distance between him and his teammates. While he feels he got on well enough with people in the house, Ryan suspects that his inability to let his guard down ultimately cost him.
“I’ll be honest; I felt towards the end of my time there that I was the outcast of the group. I think that’s possibly because everyone else was opening up and sharing stuff about themselves, and I don’t do that even with my friends and family. I’ve put up brick walls, so trying to break those down was my challenge.”
More than willing to accept his own faults, Ryan nevertheless feels a sense of betrayal at his Elimination. Having all agreed that the team member with the lowest weight percentage would be the one nominated should the Blues ever fall below the Yellow Line, Ryan was shocked to feel the wind blowing a very different way when the time came to test the pact.
“I said to Luke earlier on in the day that if our percentage was close I would put myself up and let him stay,” Ryan explains. “Our percentage wasn’t close, but one by one my team listed why I should go, not Luke, to the point where they made it quite clear that I would be going up anyway.
“At the time I just thought fine, but yes I was annoyed. Hayley asked if I fell on my sword and yes, I did. Looking back on it there are certain things I wish I’d said then, but that’s something I’ll say to those people whenever I saw them next.”
Ryan has no such resentment for his trainer. “Shannan’s a great guy and a great trainer, and even though I was a problem, everything he said sunk in. I took it all on board and it’s made me a better person. I have the greatest respect for him and I hope that after this experience we’ll still be able to keep in contact.”
Though a new personal trainer is guiding Ryan’s journey back in the outside world (“he absolutely loves smashing me,” he laughs), the big man’s determination to reach his goal weight is now greater than ever. “I’m sticking to the diet and going to the gym five days a week. It’s not as easy as I wish it was but I’m giving it my best.”